A Man's BBQ Grill and the Rules to Go With It

A Man's BBQ Grill and the Rules to Go With It

Received in an e-mail... Hat Tip: The Chief and Ruby:

Now this is a BBQ guaranteed to get everyone's attention......I think it should be towed with the barrel facing backwards...then you wouldn't have to worry about anyone tailgating you....I don't know for sure but my guess is the owner is from Texas!!!!!!

BBQ RULES

We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...

(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:

(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine...

(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat

Important again:

(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine...

(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off' and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women!

20100410 sdosm A Mans BBQ Grill and the Rules to Go With It

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Pickle Peril

Pickle Peril

Few people realize the peril of the deadly pickle. Consider:

99.9% of all folks who die of a heart attack have eaten pickles;
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99.7% of all those involved in air, auto, boat and bike accidents ate pickles in the preceding 21 days;
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nearly all sick people have eaten pickles;
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among all people born in 1870, who later ate pickles, there has been nearly 100% mortality.
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We simply must do something about this deadly scourge. Write your congress member today. Please tell him or her that enough is enough! Outlaw pickles today! Or at least place a seven-day waiting period on the purchase and possession of a pickle for domestic consumption. It is the least that we can do! Pickle peril must stop now! It must stop with us! It is our civic, human, ethical and moral responsibility.

20011123 Pickle Peril

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