Environmental Affairs Advisory Board Rediscovered on the County Staff DisOrganized ReOrganizational Chart

Environmental Affairs Advisory Board Rediscovered on the County Staff DisOrganized ReOrganizational Chart

April 9, 1999

Today, it was disclosed exactly where the Environmental Affairs Advisory Board would soon be restored to the County Staff disorganized reorganizational chart.

…..Attendance of all County Staff was mandatory at a ceremony at the fountain in front of the County Office Building as high Carroll County Government officials announced stringent new regulations developed to stem the alarming rise of environmental activism in the community. One official was overheard to say: "Environmentalists get emotional and that leads to overkill in the regulation department."

Meanwhile, at a secret, undisclosed location……………………………………

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19990320 My Locational Whereabouts

My Locational Whereabouts

Kevin E. Dayhoff

Westminster, MD 21158

______________________

Saturday, March 20, 1999

Commander Kay Church, Receptionist

225 North Center Street

Westminster, MD 21157-5194

410.386.2102

Dear Commander Kay,

Oh!, Ah, ummmm, Kay - It seems that I’m lost. Recently, I seem to have been dropped off the office building radar screen - on my head. I’ve gone off to find me. If you should happen to find me, could you please tell me where it is that I am. Right now, I may be losing, but I’m making record time.

Meanwhile, please hold all my calls, should I ever again be found on the County Staff reorganized organizational chart, other than under a rock, face down in Longwell Run desperately hugging a bunny with a clump of unopened resignation letters waded up in my mouth. If Hillary Clinton calls, take a message.

If you should find me aimlessly wondering about the halls of the office building, with a shell shock look about my unshaven face, staggering, stuttering, slobbering and muttering to myself, please direct me to safety; - preferably someplace where chocolate covered doughnuts can be found.

Should you, ever hear a voice similar to mine, disseminating from the close proximity of a pounding sound on the inside a trash truck, would you please consider stopping the truck and saving me from the landfill?

In case I am ultimately ground up into veggie burger and fed to the bog turtles, allow me to share with you what a pleasure it has been to serve under you. Thanks !

Sincerely yours,

Uncle Kevin

Remember Kay, always keep your salad shooter at the ready!!

Carroll County Commissioners, Environmentalism EAAB - Carroll County Environmental Affairs Advisory Board, Art literature of the absurd,