Pleasant Valley Volunteer Fire Company

Pleasant Valley Volunteer Fire Company - from St. Matthew's United Methodist Church on Memorial Day May 27, 2018

Living and loving in the age of asparagus

Living and loving in the age of asparagus

Or - Mary Katherine Ham to Alicia Silverstone: Go Hunting

October 3^rd, 2007 by Kevin E. Dayhoff

Although I have spent a large portion of my life as a vegetarian; as I grew older and life got particularly hectic, I gave it up – for now anyway. Who knows, tomorrow, I may go back. Whatever.

A number of years ago, as I was attempting to reason with an unreasonable person and losing miserably, a colleague said to me:

“You know what your problem is?”

“Ugh.” I really did not need advice at that particular moment; however, I prized his friendship and sheepishly asked: “What?”

“It's a dog eat dog world out there, and you're a vegetarian!"

We solved that by going out to a sub shop where I gave up the anorexic bliss of salads and voraciously scarfed down a cheese-steak sandwich.

It was a road to Damascus experience

I still lose miserably with folks who accept narcissistic fiction as fact, however, I am bigger now, and I figure that if I am to eaten alive, I might as well give folks a flavorful super-sized meal.

Then again, to be candid, I was never good at being a vegetarian. I never stopped eating animal crackers and every once and awhile at Moms, I’d dive into a steak – and I can rarely remember missing turkey at Thanksgiving.

I have a number of colleagues and some family members who are, at the moment, practicing vegetarians - and I respect that choice. Besides, I really like vegetables. Then there are folks who don’t like vegetables or are otherwise broccoli intolerant. To them I say, ya really ought to “give peas a chance.”

A member of my family, who is an avid vegetarian, recently gave some seafood a try. Bold.

Then again, writing for the Washington Post, Joel Achenbach says that:

“Certain kinds of seafood, such as lobster, clams, and crabs, are honorary forms of meat, but a small filet of a low-fat white fish should be viewed as essentially a vegetable. Raw oysters are manfood, as is any fish served with the head on and the mouth gaping in horror.

Me, I could live off of Dr. Pepper, coffee and grits. Hey, don’t knock the cooking with Dr. Pepper book. There are some great recipes in there.

I never tried the “vegan” approach. I often wondered how the term came about. When I was quite young I had a great deal of confusion over the term “vegetarian.” If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

Mr. Achenbach calls to our attention a savior for vegans, who every once in awhile, go Jonesing for a milkshake – “soy cows.”

In the column he was initially singing the praises of his new “Fabulator 5000.”

What is a “Fabulator 5000?” I am so glad you asked. I was fascinated about this development since I am still using the Fabulator model No. 1953.

I’ll let Mr. Achenbach ‘splain:

“I love my new food printer, the Fabulator 5000, which makes the previous food printers look not just clunky but positively medieval. There's no more click-and-point nonsense on the screen, no more waiting five or six interminable minutes for the food to print. You just tell the Fab 5 what you want. The food comes out in about three or four seconds, complete with garnish and a complementary wine.”

Oh, the “soy cows?” Apparently Mr. Achenbach recently “took the kids … to Homewood Farm to see a good old-fashioned agricultural enterprise…”

“I got a look at the new soy cows, grazing in the large field just north of the orchard. The USDA apparently felt that soy milk could be produced much more efficiently if it came from cows made of soy. These cows are so green they nearly blend into the landscape. They say the soy milk is a lot better tasting (not as beany, somehow) than the stuff derived from plants, and the soy burgers are more tender. But you've probably read about how the soy cows dry up badly in drought conditions -- they literally wilt -- and even catch fire. Bored teenagers have been blamed for setting some of the cow fires.”

There is much to be appreciated by the vegetarian lifestyle; nevertheless my goal was to not be evangelical about it all.

But – and ya know there was going to be a “but” in here soon – I’ve never been fond of PETA’s Strindbergian gloom and bleakness approach to advocacy. 

When I was a practicing vegetarian, invariably, some folks would suggest some linkage to me, a vegetarian, with PETA’s in-your-face humorless lactose intolerant militancy which often seems more oriented to being obnoxious and annoying than being compelling a persuasive to what is otherwise, a perfectly fine lifestyle.

At a local government - social event, a local elected official’s wife was horrified that I was a vegetarian. “How can a big strapping former Marine be a vegetarian,” she gasped.

I solved that in quick order. She was a dog lover and the owner of a huge St. Bernard. I mean huge – about the size of a water buffalo.

I asked her if she had ever eaten dog. When I was in the Marines, a South Vietnamese ranger once cooked-up a mess of dog.

It tasted like chicken.

I suggested to my scowling friend that her St. Bernard could feed an entire village… And one wonders why I lost my last election?

Recently Alicia Silverstone did an ad for PETA that has garnered a garnered a great deal of attention. I can’t believe that it is winning over any converts to vegetarianism, but it has attracted attention to PETA.

Whether it is really the sort of attention that an advocacy organization wants is a bigger issue for which there is not right or wrong, it just isn’t my cup of tea.

Nevertheless, in age of so much strife and discord, I yearn for a time when peas will rule the planets, and love won’t be such a fuss. I long for the dawn of the age of asparagus.

Enter stage right, Mary Katherine Ham. Ms. Ham has done a spoof on the Ms. Silverstone ad that is a real crack-up.

Please enjoy it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTAHyd_2SL8

####

No animals were hurt in the writing of this column.

Kevin Dayhoff writes from Westminster Maryland USA.

www.kevindayhoff.net

kevindayhoff@gmail.com

His columns and articles appear in the Baltimore Sun

And the Carroll County Times

October 2007: http://kevindayhoff.blogspot.com/2007/10/20071003-living-and-loving-in-age-of.html

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Kevin Earl Dayhoff Art www.kevindayhoff.com: Travel, art, artists, authors, books, newspapers, media, writers and writing, journalists and journalism, reporters and reporting, music, culture, opera... Ad maiorem Dei gloriam inque hominum salutem. “Deadline U.S.A.” 1952. Ed Hutcheson: “That's the press, baby. The press! And there's nothing you can do about it. Nothing!” - See more at: http://kevindayhoffart.blogspot.com/#sthash.4HNLwtfd.dpuf

“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:10

The assemblage of this website is from multiple sources -  

http://kevindayhoffart.blogspot.com/2004/01/the-assemblage-of-this-website-is-from.html

"Take a break" May 9, 2018 by Kevin Dayhoff

“Take a break” May 9, 2018 by Kevin Dayhoff

Just read: “Take a break!” by Caitlin Kelly – “I know, for some of you — parents, caregivers, those on super-tight budgets, in school — that’s not easy to do…” Find it here: https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/33359/posts/1847859389

I just wrote a parallel piece on the same topic, the need to take a break. I do not do it well. When I farmed, I must have gone as long as 10-years at a time without a vacation. I have been retired since 1999 and I have never learned to take time off. I travel more – but often look upon the travel as opportunities to write and will return home pretty tired from trying to fit in time at the keyboard and keep-up with the travel schedule.

I have never had a paid vacation in my life.

The challenges of being a free-lancer, even though I have a contract with a major publication, are at times overwhelming. Long hours with little pay, increased bureaucracy and time spent on administrative matters; and that nagging thought in the back of my head, that maybe, just maybe, I ought to just give it up and go to work for a fast food restaurant. At least I could get paid, I would take the opportunity to write about my experiences, especially the interactions with the public.

However, I grabbed a paragraph from my piece, it might even be the takeaway: “‘there are incredible health and wellness benefits associated with time off from work.’ And ‘Several studies have demonstrated that taking regular vacation time can be preventative medicine.’” Just saying.

The piece will appear here: http://www.carrollcountytimes.com/search/dispatcher.front?Query=Kevin+Dayhoff&target=all&spell=on

https://wordpress.com/post/kevindayhoff.wordpress.com/741

https://www.facebook.com/notes/kevin-earl-dayhoff/take-a-break/10155585395437654/

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 Google profile: https://profiles.google.com/kevindayhoff/  

Kevin Dayhoff Art: http://www.kevindayhoff.com/

 http://kevindayhoffart.blogspot.com/  http://www.kevindayhoffart.com/ 

New Bedford Herald: http://kbetrue.livejournal.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/kevindayhoff

Scribd Kevin Dayhoff: http://www.scribd.com/kdayhoff

Twitpic: http://twitpic.com/photos/kevindayhoff

Kevin Dayhoff's YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/kevindayhoff

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/kevindayhoff

Kevin Dayhoff Banana Stems: http://kevindayhoff.tumblr.com/ 

Gizmo's: http://www.gizmosart.com/dayhoff.html

Google profile: https://profiles.google.com/kevindayhoff/ 

Kevin Earl Dayhoff Art www.kevindayhoff.com: Travel, art, artists, authors, books, newspapers, media, writers and writing, journalists and journalism, reporters and reporting, music, culture, opera... Ad maiorem Dei gloriam inque hominum salutem. “Deadline U.S.A.” 1952. Ed Hutcheson: “That's the press, baby. The press! And there's nothing you can do about it. Nothing!” - See more at: http://kevindayhoffart.blogspot.com/#sthash.4HNLwtfd.dpuf

“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:10

The assemblage of this website is from multiple sources -  

http://kevindayhoffart.blogspot.com/2004/01/the-assemblage-of-this-website-is-from.html

BT featuring Kirsty Hawkshaw - A Million Stars (Official Music Video)

A Million Stars – BT feat. Kirsty Hawkshaw

Kevin Earl Dayhoff May 1, 2018 YouTube

https://www.facebook.com/kevindayhoff/posts/10213787521975839

#amwriting Play this at eleven. Tilly Masterson

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHu8948sDJA&feature=share

And it only takes a moment

To step outside and let the rain

Kiss your pain away

And surrender it to the sun

Cause the world is still spinning around

So seize the day

‘Cause you have come so far

Watched a million frowns turn into smiles

Lost all track of time

Felt the energy of a million stars

You will feel love again

You will feel love again

After the rain

As the coronas start to reverse

We take what’s left when it subsides

Information and perception

Get swept away into past times

And you have come so far

But they refer to us only as past

As words and thoughts combined

The will of love came winning in your heart

You will feel love again

You will feel love again

You will feel love again after the rain

And you have come so far

But they refer to us only as past

As words and thoughts combined

The will of love came winning in your heart

You will feel love again

You will feel love again

You will feel love again

You will feel love again after the rain

*****

Kevin Dayhoff Soundtrack: http://kevindayhoff.blogspot.com/ = http://www.kevindayhoff.net/ Kevin Dayhoff Art: http://kevindayhoffart.blogspot.com/ or http://kevindayhoffart.com/ = http://www.kevindayhoff.com/ Kevin Dayhoff Westminster: http://kevindayhoffwestgov-net.blogspot.com/ or http://www.westgov.net/ = www.kevindayhoff.org Twitter: https://twitter.com/kevindayhoff Twitpic: http://twitpic.com/photos/kevindayhoff Kevin Dayhoff's The New Bedford Herald: http://kbetrue.livejournal.com/ = www.newbedfordherald.net Explore Carroll: www.explorecarroll.com The Tentacle: www.thetentacle.com

Markus Schulz & Emma Hewitt - Safe From Harm | Official Music Video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVbyExKtbUI
++++++++++++

 Google profile: https://profiles.google.com/kevindayhoff/  

Kevin Dayhoff Art: http://www.kevindayhoff.com/

 http://kevindayhoffart.blogspot.com/  http://www.kevindayhoffart.com/ 

New Bedford Herald: http://kbetrue.livejournal.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/kevindayhoff

Scribd Kevin Dayhoff: http://www.scribd.com/kdayhoff

Twitpic: http://twitpic.com/photos/kevindayhoff

Kevin Dayhoff's YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/kevindayhoff

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/kevindayhoff

Kevin Dayhoff Banana Stems: http://kevindayhoff.tumblr.com/ 

Gizmo's: http://www.gizmosart.com/dayhoff.html

Google profile: https://profiles.google.com/kevindayhoff/ 

Kevin Earl Dayhoff Art www.kevindayhoff.com: Travel, art, artists, authors, books, newspapers, media, writers and writing, journalists and journalism, reporters and reporting, music, culture, opera... Ad maiorem Dei gloriam inque hominum salutem. “Deadline U.S.A.” 1952. Ed Hutcheson: “That's the press, baby. The press! And there's nothing you can do about it. Nothing!” - See more at: http://kevindayhoffart.blogspot.com/#sthash.4HNLwtfd.dpuf

“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:10

The assemblage of this website is from multiple sources -  

http://kevindayhoffart.blogspot.com/2004/01/the-assemblage-of-this-website-is-from.html

JJoy and Kirsty Hawkshaw - Love is No Possession (Nick Murray Remix)

JJoy and Kirsty Hawkshaw combined forces in 2007 to bring you the highly acclaimed song Love is No Possession. Voted "Song of the Year" in Malta and given a 5/5 rating by DJ Magazine. Nick Murray's Remix has proved to be one of the most popular remixes - now available for download at iTunes, beatport and other online stores. Released by Loverush Digital.

https://youtu.be/hrneP6ED5dU

*****

Kevin Dayhoff Soundtrack: http://kevindayhoff.blogspot.com/ = http://www.kevindayhoff.net/ Kevin Dayhoff Art: http://kevindayhoffart.blogspot.com/ or http://kevindayhoffart.com/ = http://www.kevindayhoff.com/ Kevin Dayhoff Westminster: http://kevindayhoffwestgov-net.blogspot.com/ or http://www.westgov.net/ = www.kevindayhoff.org Twitter: https://twitter.com/kevindayhoff Twitpic: http://twitpic.com/photos/kevindayhoff Kevin Dayhoff's The New Bedford Herald: http://kbetrue.livejournal.com/ = www.newbedfordherald.net Explore Carroll: www.explorecarroll.com The Tentacle: www.thetentacle.com