HOW TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD

HOW TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD

March 25, 2003

Step one: Buy a date-book.  You have to stay organized!  The closer you get to world domination, the crazier your schedule is going to get.

Step two: Save your pennies. Remember Teddy Roosevelt's "Gunboat diplomacy"? Well, guns and boats cost money, and you're going to need at least one of each to take over the world.

Step three: Keep a journal. You can't expect others to be comfortable with your sovereignty if you're uncomfortable with yourself.  Take a little time every day to reflect and you'll discover things about yourself that you never suspected.

Step four: Go to the mall with some friends.  Whenever you walk into a store, have them nudge strangers and say, "Hey, isn't that the guy who just took over the world?"

Step five: Make self-deprecating jokes.  People like conquerors that can laugh at themselves.

Step six: Always carry a pen.  You never know when you might need to sign something or stab someone.

Step seven: Pay attention to world events.  "What's that?  Indonesia's dictator was over-thrown?  That might be a good place for me to start taking over the world."  These are the types of things you should be thinking.  Then you should think, "What styles of clothing are popular in Indonesia?  Should I take a parka or a T-shirt?"  Pack appropriately and your trip will go more smoothly.  Will you need sunscreen?

Step eight: Stay limber.  How can you expect to take over the world if you can't even touch your toes?

Step nine: Carry a clipboard.  It makes you look official.

Step ten: Be unconventional.  Building a massive army and invading neighboring nations is one way to take over the world, but is it the only way?  Maybe you're good at drawing, maybe you can sew.  Find your strengths and use them.

Step eleven: Don't forget to smile!

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Kevin Earl Dayhoff Art www.kevindayhoff.com: Travel, art, artists, authors, books, newspapers, media, writers and writing, journalists and journalism, reporters and reporting, music, culture, opera... Ad maiorem Dei gloriam inque hominum salutem. “Deadline U.S.A.” 1952. Ed Hutcheson: “That's the press, baby. The press! And there's nothing you can do about it. Nothing!” - See more at: http://kevindayhoffart.blogspot.com/#sthash.4HNLwtfd.dpuf

“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:10

Exhibit opening by Phil Grout planned at Birdies for June 5, 2015

Exhibit opening by Phil Grout planned at Birdies for June 5, 2015

May 10, 2015

A reception for Phil Grout's iPhone photography gallery and his 70th birthday bash!

The gallery is already hung and you can come view the display during regular cafe hours but please come celebrate with Groutie and ML on the first Friday in June and wish Groutie a happy birthday!

Gallery will be available for your viewing pleasure until July 12th.

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Kevin Earl Dayhoff Art www.kevindayhoff.com: Travel, art, artists, authors, books, newspapers, media, writers and writing, journalists and journalism, reporters and reporting, music, culture, opera... Ad maiorem Dei gloriam inque hominum salutem. “Deadline U.S.A.” 1952. Ed Hutcheson: “That's the press, baby. The press! And there's nothing you can do about it. Nothing!” - See more at: http://kevindayhoffart.blogspot.com/#sthash.4HNLwtfd.dpuf

“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:10

At Birdies for an emergency coffee

And to see Phil Grout's awesome new art photography show - www.birdiescoffee.com

Sent from my Verizon Wireless 4G LTE smartphone

Lonely is the runner

This a test to see if I  smart enough to post a picture to my websites from my new Ssung S5 smartphone...

Sent from my Verizon Wireless 4G LTE smartphone

Bela Bartok: A sonata in two movements | The Economist

Bela Bartok: A sonata in two movements | The Economist:

A musical biography with something for everyone

http://www.economist.com/news/books-and-arts/21649444-musical-biography-something-everyone-sonata-two-movements?fsrc=scn/tw/te/pe/Bartok

Apr 25th 2015

"Bela Bartok. By David Cooper. Yale University Press; 436 pages; £25. To be published in America by Yale in June.

ALONG with Franz Liszt, Bela Bartok, who died in 1945, is regarded as one of Hungary’s greatest composers. Many consider his six string quartets, completed between 1908 and 1939, to be second only to Beethoven’s.

Though not as atonal as the work of many of his contemporaries, such as Arnold Schoenberg and Alban Berg, Bartok’s compositions can be heavy-going, combining influences from Hungarian folk, jazz and Arabic music. In this weighty tome, David Cooper of Leeds University digs into Bartok’s life, interlacing his discussion of the compositions with wider discussions of politics and culture."

http://www.economist.com/news/books-and-arts/21649444-musical-biography-something-everyone-sonata-two-movements?fsrc=scn/tw/te/pe/Bartok

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Services at Grace Lutheran Church 21 Carroll St Westminster Md www.gracelc.org

#KED

Alexandria Virginia Union Station

#KED

Shanghai Pudon PVG to Detroit DTW Wed. April 29, 2015

Shanghai Pudon PVG to Detroit DTW Wed. April 29, 2015

Watched Bollywood for almost 15 hours…

China April 15 – 29, 2015 20150415_29 Viking China

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Kevin Earl Dayhoff Art www.kevindayhoff.com: Travel, art, artists, authors, books, newspapers, media, writers and writing, journalists and journalism, reporters and reporting, music, culture, opera... Ad maiorem Dei gloriam inque hominum salutem. “Deadline U.S.A.” 1952. Ed Hutcheson: “That's the press, baby. The press! And there's nothing you can do about it. Nothing!” - See more at: http://kevindayhoffart.blogspot.com/#sthash.4HNLwtfd.dpuf

“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:10

Syed case and S.C. shooting show nonjournalists, pros working the same ground By David Zurawik The Baltimore Sun

Syed case and S.C. shooting show nonjournalists, pros working the same ground By David Zurawik The Baltimore Sun

http://www.baltimoresun.com/entertainment/tv/bs-ae-zontv-adnan-syed-podcast-serial-20150410-story.html#page=1

Contact the reporter

Television Media Industry Adnan Syed Journalism Sarah Koenig News Media Anderson Cooper

Humbly watching non-journalists driving biggest stories with digital tools

From cell phone video to podcasts, citizens and advocates shape national agenda

But what's left for mainstream media?

The past week has been a lesson in journalistic humility for me.

After a career of thinking and writing about how the kind of mainstream journalistic institutions at which I worked set the local and national agenda, I had a moment of clarity with a voice in my head saying, "Not so much any more, my self-important friend."

[…]

… I couldn't help but think how much the onscreen story of this police shooting was again the result of what was done by a single citizen with a cellphone — not by a network or a cable news channel with all their multimillion-dollar talent and resources….

[…]

Chaudry acknowledges that "journalists definitely have different roles than activists and advocates."

Read much-much more here: http://www.baltimoresun.com/entertainment/tv/bs-ae-zontv-adnan-syed-podcast-serial-20150410-story.html#page=1

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Kevin Earl Dayhoff Art www.kevindayhoff.com: Travel, art, artists, authors, books, newspapers, media, writers and writing, journalists and journalism, reporters and reporting, music, culture, opera... Ad maiorem Dei gloriam inque hominum salutem. “Deadline U.S.A.” 1952. Ed Hutcheson: “That's the press, baby. The press! And there's nothing you can do about it. Nothing!” - See more at: http://kevindayhoffart.blogspot.com/#sthash.4HNLwtfd.dpuf

“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:10

New exhibit at Walters Art Museum showcases the statues of Maryland artist William Rinehart - By Mary Carole McCauley The Baltimore Sun

New exhibit at Walters Art Museum showcases the statues of Maryland artist William Rinehart By Mary Carole McCauley The Baltimore Sun http://www.baltimoresun.com/entertainment/arts/bs-ae-walters-rinehart-20150411-story.html#page=1

Contact the reporter Museums

The abracadabra of sculpture's appeal

The master and a modern-day disciple

How many Rinehart sculptures can you find on a walk around town?

At a first look and even at a second, you'd swear it was magic.

Those three white towels, two folded neatly and the third rumpled and hanging every which way — surely they're made of terrycloth and purchased at a department store, not carved from white Carrara marble in a stone quarry by the 34-year-old Baltimore artist Sebastian Martorana.

Those two little boys curled up on a mattress, their heads barely heavy enough to dimple a pillow — surely they'll wake up any moment from their nap. But that nap, which was carved in stone by the master sculptor William Rinehart, has been going on undisturbed since 1869.

"Rinehart's Studio: Rough Stone to Living Marble," the new exhibition running at the Walters Art Museum, makes a strong case for the undiluted trickery that lies at the heart of sculpture's appeal.

Read more here: http://www.baltimoresun.com/entertainment/arts/bs-ae-walters-rinehart-20150411-story.html#page=1

http://kevindayhoffart.blogspot.com/2015/04/new-exhibit-at-walters-art-museum.html
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Kevin Earl Dayhoff Art www.kevindayhoff.com: Travel, art, artists, authors, books, newspapers, media, writers and writing, journalists and journalism, reporters and reporting, music, culture, opera... Ad maiorem Dei gloriam inque hominum salutem. “Deadline U.S.A.” 1952. Ed Hutcheson: “That's the press, baby. The press! And there's nothing you can do about it. Nothing!” - See more at: http://kevindayhoffart.blogspot.com/#sthash.4HNLwtfd.dpuf

“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:10

I’m not a liar but Facebook sure is. | fielekefrontporch

I’m not a liar but Facebook sure is. | fielekefrontporch:

"I’M NOT A LIAR BUT FACEBOOK SURE IS.

March 17, 2015
I have some confessions about pictures I pulled from my Facebook feed…"  ... http://fielekefrontporch.com/2015/03/17/im-not-a-liar-but-facebook-sure-is/

'via Blog this'

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Kevin Dayhoff Soundtrack: http://kevindayhoff.blogspot.com/ = http://www.kevindayhoff.net/ Kevin Dayhoff Art: http://kevindayhoffart.blogspot.com/ or http://kevindayhoffart.com/ = http://www.kevindayhoff.com/ Kevin Dayhoff Westminster: http://kevindayhoffwestgov-net.blogspot.com/ or http://www.westgov.net/ = www.kevindayhoff.org Twitter: https://twitter.com/kevindayhoff Twitpic: http://twitpic.com/photos/kevindayhoff Kevin Dayhoff's The New Bedford Herald: http://kbetrue.livejournal.com/ = www.newbedfordherald.net Explore Carroll: www.explorecarroll.com The Tentacle: www.thetentacle.com

Grandma Sells Trove of Rare Civil War-Era Photos to the Library of Congress March 30, 2015 by Michael Zhang

Grandma Sells Trove of Rare Civil War-Era Photos to the Library of Congress March 30, 2015 by Michael Zhang

An 87-year-old grandmother in Texas has sold a rare and valuable collection of more than 500 Civil War-era photographs to the Library of Congress after building her personal collection for four decades.

The Washington Post reports that Robin Stanford of Houston had gathered together a treasure trove of historical images — some of which may be the only known images to show the things that they depict.

The photos contain images of slaves, plantations, battlefields, and a nation in mourning after the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. Each item in the collection is a stereo photo, with two shots of the scene arranged side-by-side for viewing through a special stereo viewer.

Stanford says she had been planning to pass the collection on to her son, but his recent death caused her to lose motivation in collecting and decide to sell the archive. The purchase price has not been announced.

[…]

Many of the photographs have already been digitized and published online by the Library of Congress, and the rest will be digitized in the coming days. To find the photos on the LOC website, simply do a search for “robin stanford collection.” (via Washington Post via American Photo)

[…]

Here’s a short segment by the Washington Post about Stanford and the photographs she sold:

Here’s a sampling of the images found in the collection: http://petapixel.com/2015/03/30/grandma-sells-trove-of-rare-civil-war-photos-to-the-library-of-congress/

Grandma Sells Trove of Rare Civil War-Era Photos to the Library of Congress March 30, 2015 by Michael Zhang http://petapixel.com/2015/03/30/grandma-sells-trove-of-rare-civil-war-photos-to-the-library-of-congress/

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Kevin Earl Dayhoff Art www.kevindayhoff.com: Travel, art, artists, authors, books, newspapers, media, writers and writing, journalists and journalism, reporters and reporting, music, culture, opera... Ad maiorem Dei gloriam inque hominum salutem. “Deadline U.S.A.” 1952. Ed Hutcheson: “That's the press, baby. The press! And there's nothing you can do about it. Nothing!” - See more at: http://kevindayhoffart.blogspot.com/#sthash.4HNLwtfd.dpuf

“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:10

How to Remove Words from the Word 2013 Custom Dictionary By Dan Gookin from Word 2013 For Dummies

How to Remove Words from the Word 2013 Custom Dictionary

By Dan Gookin from Word 2013 For Dummies

When you choose the Add to Dictionary command in Word 2013, the given word is placed into the custom dictionary. Recognizing that people may change their minds, Word allows you to edit its custom dictionary, to remove words you may have added accidentally.

To remove unwanted words from the custom dictionary, follow these steps: ... http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/how-to-remove-words-from-the-word-2013-custom-dict.html 

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Kevin Earl Dayhoff Art www.kevindayhoff.com: Travel, art, artists, authors, books, newspapers, media, writers and writing, journalists and journalism, reporters and reporting, music, culture, opera... Ad maiorem Dei gloriam inque hominum salutem. “Deadline U.S.A.” 1952. Ed Hutcheson: “That's the press, baby. The press! And there's nothing you can do about it. Nothing!” - See more at: http://kevindayhoffart.blogspot.com/#sthash.4HNLwtfd.dpuf

“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:10

Words for Meditation

Words for Meditation

My November 1, 1998 art collage-diary entry for November 1, 1998. Must have been an interesting day, huh?

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Kevin Earl Dayhoff Art www.kevindayhoff.com: Travel, art, artists, authors, books, newspapers, media, writers and writing, journalists and journalism, reporters and reporting, music, culture, opera... Ad maiorem Dei gloriam inque hominum salutem. “Deadline U.S.A.” 1952. Ed Hutcheson: “That's the press, baby. The press! And there's nothing you can do about it. Nothing!” - See more at: http://kevindayhoffart.blogspot.com/#sthash.4HNLwtfd.dpuf

“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:10

Install a dictionary in Microsoft Word 2013

Instead of starting with a built-in dictionary, Word 2013 links you to the Office Store so you can pick a free dictionary or buy one from a collection, including dictionaries in many languages.

To choose and install the dictionary you want, right-click any word and click Define.

[...]

Read much more here: https://support.office.com/en-nz/article/Install-a-dictionary-77be8dd8-23a0-4e8b-a321-a6f40c9610a5

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Kevin Earl Dayhoff Art www.kevindayhoff.com: Travel, art, artists, authors, books, newspapers, media, writers and writing, journalists and journalism, reporters and reporting, music, culture, opera... Ad maiorem Dei gloriam inque hominum salutem. “Deadline U.S.A.” 1952. Ed Hutcheson: “That's the press, baby. The press! And there's nothing you can do about it. Nothing!” - See more at: http://kevindayhoffart.blogspot.com/#sthash.4HNLwtfd.dpuf

“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:10

Success is the art of failing forward

Success is the art of failing forward

“Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm,” Winston S. Churchill. Or perhaps a different perspective is offered by Thomas A. Edison, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

I have always thought that success is the art of failing forward. I am not sure if that is really original, but that is how I have always understood success since I was quite young and starting-out. I never let not know what I was doing to stop me and I kept failing forward… To this very day.

Kevin E. Dayhoff… April 6, 2015 

http://kevindayhoffart.blogspot.com/2015/04/success-is-art-of-failing-forward.html

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30 Powerful Quotes on Failure by Ekaterinea Walter, 12/30/2013 at Forbes - http://www.forbes.com/sites/ekaterinawalter/2013/12/30/30-powerful-quotes-on-failure/

It seems that failure tends to be more public than success. Or at least that’s what we perceive it to be. We fret it, we try to avoid it, and we question ourselves every time we have unconventional ideas. But the simple truth is – no great success was ever achieved without failure. It may be one epic failure. Or a series of failures – such as Edison’s 10,000 attempts to create a light bulb or Dyson’s 5,126 attempts to invent a bagless vacuum cleaner. But, whether we like it or not, failure is a necessary stepping stone to achieving our dreams.

Several months ago I gave a short, TED-style talk on the topic. And today I wanted to share this collection of 30 quotes that will hopefully inspire you to look at failure differently.

1. “Failure isn’t fatal, but failure to change might be” – John Wooden

2. “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”  - Jack Canfield

Read more here: http://www.forbes.com/sites/ekaterinawalter/2013/12/30/30-powerful-quotes-on-failure/

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Kevin Earl Dayhoff Art www.kevindayhoff.com: Travel, art, artists, authors, books, newspapers, media, writers and writing, journalists and journalism, reporters and reporting, music, culture, opera... Ad maiorem Dei gloriam inque hominum salutem. “Deadline U.S.A.” 1952. Ed Hutcheson: “That's the press, baby. The press! And there's nothing you can do about it. Nothing!” - See more at: http://kevindayhoffart.blogspot.com/#sthash.4HNLwtfd.dpuf

“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:10

"An empty jar of grape jelly" by Uncle Kevin

An empty jar of grape jelly

April 1, 2015

Yet another in a series of fractured self-help anecdotes of the absurd by Uncle Kevin.

This my friends, is a picture of a Babylon-Dayhoff household emergency – an empty jar of Smucker’s Grape Jelly. 

This is not funny. 

This is worse than a French Toast Emergency – when everyone runs to the grocery store to stock-up on bread, milk, and eggs after the weather forecast predicts snow…

Breathe – Breathe… Count to ten. I’m going to be Okay. Repeat. I am going to okay. This too shall pass.

Buckle up for the most absurd fractured obsessive "narrative therapy" you've ever read

"Vices are ingredients of virtues just as poisons are ingredients of remedies.  Prudence mixes and tempers them and uses them effectively against life's ill."  La Rochefoucauld - Maxims (1665)

Come closer. I mean, can we talk? For you see, I strongly believe that grape jelly is the very thread which holds together the uneasy seams of modern society. Yes, my brethren – grape jelly. Can I get an Amen? Lift your hands into the air brothers and sisters. I’m talking to you here…

It seems only appropriate that we take this time to pay some sort of homage to this humble jar of jelly as it lies vanquished on the kitchen stove.

This must be a teaching moment. I am going to concentrate on the image of the empty jar of grape jelly and realize that this is all my fault.

This all leads me to dig deep inner my inner mind, what’s left of it, and ponder, am I addicted to grape jelly? Is there such a thing as an addiction to grape jelly? I cannot bear to spend a day without a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I am desperately in search of a support group. Perhaps I have achieved a protected class – I can now join the balance of 65 per cent of Americans who are classified as a protected class. Does my employer have to make special accommodations for my addiction?

I guess I must accept the sad facts, I am addicted to grape jelly.

So, now I'm running.  Running as fast as I can. 

I was in the back yard when I first saw it.  Out by the giant lava lamp…

It looks like it's a.... It’s a..... A giant jar of grape jelly hovering over the house.  It is so large that it casts a shadow over all of the house, and beyond. 

It drew even nearer.  I'm running.  Was it going to attack me?  I tripped and fell.  The giant jar of grape jelly drew nearer.  My life flashed before me..... Running away as a child on my tricycle with my teddy bear.  Helping Pop-Pop and my uncles build a barn.  My mother making me draw a pirate over and over and over again for a drawing contest.  Helping Tass Samios at the grocery store.  Helping Dad build a glider swing set.  Building things in my sandbox.  Coach Head congratulating me for recovering a fumble.  Mr. Eaton calling on me in class.  The Marines. Civil rights marches…. Water cannons and police dogs. Seeing Elvis on the farm.  Timmy helping me with the farm house.  Mark, Zachary, Fred…

The giant jar of grape jelly hovered just feet over my head.  It was so close to the ground that it was damaging the roof of the house.  I thought of my home owner's insurance. It protects me from volcanoes - but, but does it cover damage from a giant jar of jelly?  Does it?  Tell me.  Does it?

Ooze resembling jelly started flowing over the edge as it tilted to the left.  The jelly started covering me.  My God, I'm going to die.  Is this a diabolical plot caused by political opponents?  No, that would be a huge pile of manure.  Who caused this?  Why me?  The jelly is covering me.  I'm dying.  I'm dying.  What a way to go!  Why couldn't it be a big bowl of ice cream instead?  I'm dying.... I'm dying..... I'm dying…

I wake up in a cold sweat. Run to the sink and splash some cold water on my face and steel myself for another day without grape jelly. Is there no hope?

Another nightmare about grape jelly!

Didn't Homer say in "The Iliad," that the greatest hoax in life is the hope for safety?

Can we talk?  I need your help!  You see, I'm a victim.  I've finally joined the rest of contemporary American culture and have now become a victim. 

I will repeat this chant over and over:  "Excuses are for losers.  What's the mission?  It's performance that counts.  I am the only one who is ultimately responsible for my life.  Get over it.  Move on.  Say yes to responsibility.

http://kevindayhoffart.blogspot.com/2015/04/an-empty-jar-of-grape-jelly-by-uncle.html Labels: Art literature of the absurd, Dayhoff erratum reductio ad absurdum, Dayhoff literature of the absurd

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Kevin Earl Dayhoff Art www.kevindayhoff.com: Travel, art, artists, authors, books, newspapers, media, writers and writing, journalists and journalism, reporters and reporting, music, culture, opera... Ad maiorem Dei gloriam inque hominum salutem. “Deadline U.S.A.” 1952. Ed Hutcheson: “That's the press, baby. The press! And there's nothing you can do about it. Nothing!” - See more at: http://kevindayhoffart.blogspot.com/#sthash.4HNLwtfd.dpuf

“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:10