Kevin Earl Dayhoff Art One-half Banana Stems

Kevin Earl Dayhoff Art One-half Banana Stems - www.kevindayhoff.com Address: PO Box 124, Westminster MD 21158 410-259-6403 kevindayhoff@gmail.com Runner, writer, artist, fire & police chaplain Mindless ramblings of a runner, journalist & artist: Travel, art, artists, authors, books, newspapers, media, writers and writing, journalists and journalism, reporters and reporting, technology, music, culture, opera... National & International politics www.kevindayhoff.net For community: www.kevindayhoff.org For art, technology, writing, & travel: www.kevindayhoff.com

Showing posts with label Medicine Health humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Medicine Health humor. Show all posts

Thursday, May 07, 2009

A.A.A.D.D.

AAADD

I got this earlier today in an e-mail. It made me laugh. I could relate.

Hat Tip: Karen Scott and Mrs. Owl

KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.....PLEASE READ!

Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.
Somehow I feel better, even though I have it!!

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,
Put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
And notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back
On the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think,
Since I'm going to be near the mailbox
When I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table,
And see that there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
So I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking

I'm going to look for my checks,
But first I need to push the Pepsi aside
So that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Pepsi is getting warm,
And I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,
A vase of flowers on the counter
Catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Pepsi on the counter and
Discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk,
But first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,
Fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I'll be looking for the remote,
But I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
So I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
But first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,
But quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table,
Get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to
Remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
The car isn't washed
The bills aren't paid
There is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter
The flowers don't have enough water,
There is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day,
And I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,
And I'll try to get some help for it,
But first I'll check my e-mail...

Do me a favor.
Forward this message to everyone you know,
Because I don't remember who the hell I've sent it to.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!


20090505 SDOSM A.A.A.D.D.
Kevin Dayhoff Soundtrack: http://www.kevindayhoff.net/ http://kevindayhoff.blogspot.com/
Kevin Dayhoff Art: http://www.kevindayhoff.com/
Kevin Dayhoff Westminster: http://www.westgov.net/