May 28, 1997 Giant Lava Lamp
discovered on Kevin Dayhoff’s farm
Kevin E. Dayhoff Buzzard’s Crust Farm
Press
Release - For immediate Publication May 28, 1997
Excavations
on Kevin Dayhoff’s farm in Patapsco confirm the early development of a Giant
Lava Lamp.
Recently, while tilling his
wife Caroline’s vegetable garden, Mr. Kevin Dayhoff discovered traces of a
Giant Lava Lamp on his farm in Patapsco, Maryland. Mr. Dayhoff was quite excited at this
discovery, and called the Patapsco Daily
Herald Bugle immediately with the news.
According to Mr. Dayhoff, in
ancient Patapsco folklore, a Giant Lava Lamp was once the focal point of an
ancient Patapscoian religion, which has persistently been rumored to still be
secretly practiced in the hills of Patapsco.
In this ancient religion,
every residence maintained an altar, centered on a gazing ball, many of which
can still be found in the area. This
gazing ball altar was used to communicate with the spirit of the Great Lava
Lamp Father who resided in the Temple of the Great Lava Lamp.
Pink Flamingoes, which are
indigenous to the Patapsco area, were considered to be the messenger bird of
the Great Lava Lamp Father. Pink
Flamingoes are now on the endangered species list and, where their nests of
inverted tractor tires are found, by law they cannot be disturbed.
It is hoped that further
excavations will provide insight into the culture of the Carthaginians who
settled Patapsco after the Third Punic War in 206 BC. The archeologists are curious if the Great
Lava Lamp religion is something that the Carthaginians brought over with them
or if it was a religion of the Petapsqui tribe of Native Americans known to
have inhabited the Patapsco area, or perhaps a mixture of both. As further research develops we will keep you
informed.
Scribd Kevin Dayhoff: http://www.scribd.com/kdayhoff
Twitpic: http://twitpic.com/photos/kevindayhoff
Kevin Dayhoff's YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/kevindayhoff
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/kevindayhoff
Kevin Dayhoff Banana Stems: http://kevindayhoff.tumblr.com/
Gizmo's: http://www.gizmosart.com/dayhoff.html
Google profile: https://profiles.google.com/kevindayhoff/ “Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:10
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